The Dumplings are now the size of grapes. They sure are wreaking a lot of havoc on my system for a couple of grapes.
As the title of this post states, I am grateful. I really, really am. I wake up every day full of gratitude for all the blessings in my life. I give thanks for them not just every day, but every second of every day. After all I have been through to have the gift of life (x2) growing inside my womb, I can’t possibly have anything to complain about.
Oh, but I do. I wish I didn’t, but I do.
Food. I hate all food. Not just in the morning, but ALL DAY LONG. Food is my enemy.
From morning until night I am nauseous. My once eclectic palate now resembles that of a six year old. I only seem to enjoy food that is white, and I barely “enjoy” that. I just tolerate it long enough to get it down.
Macaroni and cheese. Spaghetti and meat sauce. Chicken pot pie. Most soups. Bacon and toast. Ginger cat cookies from Trader Joe’s. Jolly Ranchers. Jello pudding.
The bacon and toast baffles even me. If I get within three feet of fish or a piece of chicken I feel as though I might lose my lunch. Steak is not very high on my list either, but ground beef and bacon seem to be making the cut.
I hate water. It makes me more nauseous. I drink milk, herbal tea and Gatorade. Obviously, not at the same time.
Fruit and protein shakes are sustaining me. And you heard it here first — Thank God for my sweet, patient husband. The Dumplings and I would starve without him.
I have not been blogging at any sort of regular pace recently, but I did write posts about baby names. Here are my top ten girl names and my top ten boy names posts. We have not really started talking about names since we have no idea what we are having, but being a girl, I have been thinking about baby names since I was eight.
Given that food was the last thing on my mind all weekend, I happily joined Jonathan in cleaning out the garage. Exciting, I know — but this tedious chore actually led me to rediscover some artwork created my my dear friend, Christopher. More than a decade ago we were working on a children’s project that never went anywhere, but I was left with this fabulous artwork. I am going to frame it in some really creative way (I have yet to figure out), and put it on the walls in the Dumpling’s room.
I love how colorful it is, and that it will blend nicely with the eclectic mix of art and furnishings for the room. But the main thing I love about it is that it is original artwork by one of my dearest friends from college. I love the fact that when the Dumplings get old enough to ask about the pictures; I can tell them all about their Uncle Chris who lives in New York. I might even put a picture of us from college in the room just to scare my children.
Look, Dumplings, a picture of Mommy the clown.
It was the 80’s, I hope they will forgive me.
Another bonus is I co-created all of these character, so I may be the only one who really knows their stories. The Dumpling’s walls will come to life with original stories about the adventures of The Globespinners — all living in their Mama’s mind.
In addition to finding artwork in our garage, I found the first piece of furniture for the Dumpling’s room. I will confess, I thought I was buying a shelf for my bathroom, but when I got it home, the shelves were really too small for what I needed in the bathroom. I threw the towels aside and started putting some of my childhood memorabilia on the shelves. It’s a great color (which I will confess is the main reason I bought it) and fits in well with the eclectic mix of past and present I want to bring to their little room.
Another wonderful thing that happened over the past several days, was I found a designer for this blog. I am so excited. Her name is Heather Sanders, she is from Texas. I have been following her for a few years now, and I think her designs are creative and unique. I feel really blessed she decided to help me with my blog because she is headed into semi-retirement for web design. Her true passion is writing and blogging about homeschooling and she does this a few times a week at The Pioneer Woman and on her own website, HeatherSanders.com. It will be several months before the changes take place, but I am thrilled to finally begin working on them.
A lot is going on in my body and in my mind with each passing week of this pregnancy. I am excited and scared and worried and joyful and full of wonderment about what the future holds for us and the Dumplings. I am devouring books to the tune of two per week. My husband keeps asking if the pregnancy books are actually different. The truth?
No, they really aren’t.
As I read parenting articles and other blogs across the internet, I think a lot about my childhood and the things I loved about it. I loved playing and learning to negotiate and figure things out on my own. I lived on this block full of kids all basically within 2-4 years of my age. Parents on our block rarely, if ever, interfered in our playing unless we were trying to drown each other in the pool. We played outside until we were forced to come home.
When I look around neighborhoods now I don’t see this and it makes me sad. I remember the hours I spent exploring my neighborhood parks and just hanging out with friends. Eventually, yes, we walked to an arcade — Time Tunnel — where I spent every quarter my mother had trying to beat high scores on Pac Man. I’m not sure that was good for us, but at least we walked there or rode our bikes. Even when we got Atari at home, my mother practically kicked us out of the house after thirty minutes unless it was cold or raining.
I was never over-scheduled until I started CATS and I chose to be over-scheduled. I see kids now and they have one day off per week when they are in elementary school. I often wonder, when do they play and imagine and dream? Exploring my neighborhood and Mawmaw’s farm — roaming around alone or with friends, that’s when I was dreaming and figuring things out no one can teach you at the dinner table or in a classroom. I hope there is some way for us to give that kind of free play to the Dumplings.
I keep wondering where that kind of life exists? I get worried, maybe it doesn’t anymore.
Kid’s lives today seem so intense; especially here in Los Angeles. Life is intense enough as an adult; I hope I can shield the Dumplings from some of this — though the writing may just be on the wall in our society. I guess I’ll figure it out as I travel the road like any parent does.
One of my favorite songs lately is Rodney Atkins, I’ve Been Watching You. I love it, and it is so true. I remember watching my Mom and my Dad do things and trying to copy them.
Parents are our first idols — here’s to hoping Jonathan and I can be ones worth idolizing.
Don’t think for one second I am not going to use the first five years of their life to influence their musical tastes for the rest of their lives. My Mom was pretty good at this for me, so apparently, I am still watching her.